The crusaders and I Sir Jacob Fisticuffs
by ogzep
Summary: Suck a dick fgts also enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

**Sir Jacob Fisticuffs**

I'd like to start out with this story was started and completed while I was 13 beers in so if some of it does not make sense you'll understand why.

_Only God can judge you and I shall deliver you to him – Sir Jacob Fisticuffs_

Year 1486 Day 146- Florence

Sir Jacob! I have a message straight from the Pope Alexander** VI** and its urgent. Alright let me see it peasant boy Jonny the Courier. (Dear Sir Jacob Fisticuffs we have reason to believe there is religious cult of homosexuals nearby in Venice we need you to cleanse the land of them. ) Alright we must gather at least 5 holy men, Jonny the Peasant gather Sir Badass Richard Rohese, Ryan The Crying Foot stepper, and His Brother Justin baby boy Foot stepper, Sean Jack Dagnels ,Jordan The Colored . We will make our Advance on Venice tomorrow at Dawn.

I see that you all are here except Sir Jordan the Colored anyone know what happened to him? Crying Ryan acknowledges it and says he was caught up in cleansing a whore house Sir Jacob. Couldn't we just take Jonny along with us? …. Looks like we'll have to Jonny do you have any sort of skills or training? Not really I can run really fast though. That will have to do hopefully you can pick up how to swing a sword under pressure. Hurry grab a horse and join us we have a long way to go. Night falls and the Templars Set up Camp along the way to Venice. Around the campfire the Templars start to tell stories.

Ryan was the first of the Royal Knights of god to tell a story, there I was I had to take a bath so I rushed to the springs and Sir Richard was there and Justin, Richard got up and left after a few moments of conversation. It was just me and My brother I told Justin I had a weird feeling in my groin area and he replied so do I brother, whenever you're around that is. Justin Interrupts the story and asks if anyone else has a story to tell. Sean Jack Dagnels replies with his story ONE TIME I WAS AT A BAR IN FLORENCE AN THIS ONE WENCH CAME UP TO ME AN JUST STARTED SUCKING AWAY. SHE MUST HAVE KNOW I WAS A MAN OF GOD LOL! He then fell over and passed out from alcohol and hitting his head on a rock. Richard quickly added to not make silence, Sir Jacob I have taken your sister on a date and I purposed to her she replied with a yes and was a quick lay . Jacob replied with surely you Jest Richard? No its true and I am going to marry her and thou has plowed her women hood no NEED TO BE MAD BRO! Richard and Sir Jacob Began to fisticuff as Sean laid passed out, Ryan and Justin made out. Jonny Began to tell a story as all this was going on but no one paid any attention.

Day-148

The next morning Sean was first to wake, he woke everyone else up they made breakfast and it was a quiet morning not a word was said. The group of Templars then saddled up and started on their Journey. Jonny was first to break the silence with a complaint about how slow this was going. Jacob then said I'm sorry Richard you can marry my sister I was just mad because you said you laid with her and I would love to have you in my family. Its okay Jacob it was a good fight and needed to happen for our brotherhood. As they rode by each other sides they shook hands. Ryan and Justin were still in the back making out side by side on horse. Sean was slumped over his horse barely able to move still hung over from all the wine he was drinking for god. Sean was known for his extensive drinking he even had made a weird tasting wine he called Jack Dagnels. Jonny then proceeded to ask about training and if he could ever become a man of god. Well Jonny maybe perhaps after this we will see how devoted you are to god and his order. Richard Laughs, Jonny what do you plan to do if one of these homosexuals comes at you with the intent to kill? I'll fight back surely If I am on gods side he will guide my blade. Sean mutters hell just suck his dick! Jacob slaps Sean and says go back to bed you drunk. Hahaha Yes! That's the spirit young one maybe he does have what it takes to be a Templar! Jacob what do you think?

Well Richard he has much to prove and we will see if god does guide him when we get to Venice.

Day -162

As the Templars near Venice they seem to have lost track of time and took a rest outside of Venice in a small town named Verona . They ventured towards the towns inn near Garda Lake. When they arrived they were greeted by a man shouting about a festival of fisticuffs Sean yells Jacob! You should enter we all laughed because of his last name. Jacob replies have one of the brothers or Jonny fight this could help him learn a lesson or two. And will see if god is on your side brethren. Jonny is hesitant so Sean gives him some of his brew Jack Dagnels, he quickly loosens up. The rest of the men buy 5 kegs of brew and start drink claiming it'll be a long night.

Jonny steps into the ring which he notices happens to be very muddy maybe he could use that to his advantage? Jacob asks Ryan so what's the grand prize? Ryan says free brew food and women, which you fellas can have. Ill take part in the brew and food though. Sean yells I already have the women took it out on the tab cause Jonny is going to win I know it. Jonny slipped in the mud and got the shit kicked out of him in the first round by 10 guys. Luckily Sean put it on Jonny's tab. They skip town the next morning.

On the way there all of the men are beat Sean, Jacob, Richard, Ryan, Justin all hung over and tired. Jonny was ragged from getting his ass beat. They Joked about Jonny all the way up to the gates of Venice. They finally arrived to Venice midday of the 164th day. When the Templars get in town they are greeted with a warm welcome and the city guard ask if they're here to set up a religious base. Sir Jacob replies with NO WE ARE HERE TO CLEANSE THIS PLACE OF DIESASE AND FILTH AS OREDERD BY Pope Alexander **VI.** Hands the letter to the guard captain, they approve and wave them on. The Templars dismount there horses and enters the first inn they see. Sir Jacob yells WHERE ARE THE SINNERS?

A small man replies with, in the Castello district in the San Marco fair grounds Sir Jacob then thanks the peasant with a gold coin the Templars leave towards the San Marco fair grounds. When they arrive they ask the first male they see if he knows of men having relations with each other and he replies with yeah its everywhere in this district, hell I'll bang you for 10 florins. Sir Jacob decks the queer in the face then grabs Jonny throws him in and says start cleansing my Boy! Sir Sean is nowhere to be seen.

Day-164

Sir Jacob, Richard, and Jonny are beating sinners left and right. Justin and Ryan are on the rooftops shooting arrows down on the sinners. Sean is still nowhere to be found. Sir Jacob draws his blade and starts to kill everyone in his path in the name of god. In the heat of the battle a sinner attacks Jonny from behind Ryan with his precision snipes him off with his bow but by doing so loses sight of Justin who then gets engulfed by sinners. Jonny is getting overwhelmed with sinners so he runs off, leaves Sir Jacob and Richard to die as they get surrounded. Richard and Jacob high five and say for the lord motherfucker and start slaughtering sinners. Ryan fails to give them any help because he is busy rescuing his brother. By the time he gets to his brother he finds out he is already taken by god. He starts smashing the face of a nearby sinner with his boot until its completely crushed in brain splatter is everywhere even across his face he doesn't stop. Tears roll down his face.

Meanwhile Jonny Is gone and Sean Shows up on a white war horse yelling fuck wenches gather currency. Slicing heads off of all the sinners saving Sir Jacob and Richard as they were surrounded. They yell in glee! Richard stabs a man in the throat as he reaches for Jacob with a sword. The battle is over and the town is cleansed. Sir Richard and Jacob sit on the pile of bodies catching their breath. Even though Sean was late he was useful. Sean walks up with some of his own brew and says lets drink to GOD! They all cheer to god, drink and Ryan shows up with his brothers body and dragging Jonny by rope. They all look at each other and say you caught the lil bastard eh? We'll let him loose in the Accona Desert let god decide his fate if he returns to us he is meant to be a Templar even if he is a coward. Sir Jacob asks what of Ryan's brother? Ryan says he is dead. Sean grabs Justin's body slaps him around and says no the baby boy just fainted, No need to Cry Ryan.

The Holy men laugh and mount they're horse and ride off into the darkness. Leaving behind all bodies and cleanup for the city of Venice. As they ride off Sir Richard invites them all to his wedding with Sir Jacobs sister there is a pause he says what you thought I was joking? They all laugh and say no just thought you and Sir Jacob Fisticuffs were going to fight again they laugh and continue to ride on. On the way home the Templars drop off Jonny the peasant in the Accona Desert. Sir Jacob Fisticuffs leaves him with the words "Only God can judge you and I shall deliver you to him".


	2. Chapter 2

**The Crusaders and **

**I **

**Sir Jacob Fisticuffs**

Jonny the Jew takes a sip from his favorite canteen made of a monkey's ball sack to find out Sean had emptied it of his water and replaced it with his Jack Dagnels, Jonny drank on and stumbled further through the desert. Sir Jacob hears a scream, what the fuck was that? Four women run out into the main hall screaming Sean is trying to shove his penis wherever he can fit it, that asshole won't even give a reach around. THAT FUCKING WHORE LIES I GAVE THE BITCH A RUBBING! Sir Richard do something! . Richard stands up and addresses the situation whit a chug of Jack Dagnels ….. This fucking wench thinks she can speak badly of Sir Sean Jack Dagnels the 1st! throw her in the pit and bang the brains of this women and make her orgasm until she begs for it to stop then cut her throat make sure the whore is sent to hell for this sin she has committed…unless she feels like repenting on all of us except me an of course Sir Jacob as to I will be a married man soon and Jacobs a bitch. By the way your sister is a fine woman brother!

Jordan shows up and finally takes control of the situation. Hey what's going on with my women here? Sir Jacob tells Jordan that some of the wenches had a problem with Sean but it twas bullshit and dealt with with. Laughter spreads throughout the bar and the party carries on. Jordan Is a well-known pimp an has also been selling a lot of Jack Dagnels for Sean they have been splitting the profits and Sean is hiding the money from the church which is known to all of the holy crusaders, but they all benefited from it so they took it as a sign from god to do it. The Holy knights partied on and penetrated flesh all night long with their dicks except Richard he's a bitch ass nigga that is for some reason staying true to his marriage at this point. Jacob banged 10 of the whores an still denied it saying he was a virgin and would not go into a women until marriage. The whole order always laughs at that, Men of the order gathered for breakfast and feasted. When suddenly Jonny rushed through the door hung over yelling there's a new pope and his name is Randy Snope the Pope the other has fled to China for praying to Satan! What a faggot amirite guise? Holy fuck Jonny's alive said Jacob, you're meant to be then we will have you inducted to the order after out next mission then. Next Mission? says Richard.

Jonny gather Justin and find Ryan please, Richard do you know where Ryan has gone ? I heard he went to the Asian territories. Alright have a messenger hawk sent to the Chinese capital and search for him an tell him of what has happened with the pope. Jacob, Sean, Richard all get on their horses Jordan Does not he must tend to his whores and the crusaders head for the pope Randy Snope. Justin and Jonny arrive shortly after to meet Randy Snope the Pope. Everyone notices Jonny's horse it's a pony no one mentions it at the time. The crusaders enter to meet his holiness Randy Snope the Pope. When they enter the main hall Randy greets them with a heellllllooooo young ones how may I help your young tender bodies today beauties? Well Pope Randy Snope we would like your blessing and donation for our most current Crusade against the devil. Richard interrupts Jacob to state that they want to travel to China to capture the ex-pope and bring justice to him. Pope Randy gives them his blessing and money to travel and asks for the Footstepper brothers to serve him for a while in return the crusaders accept.

The crusaders head out on their journey their first stop they notice when Jonny is alone he is talking to his pony and he calls it Pinkie Pie, the crusaders don't mention it. Sean has been getting antsy and has been drinking the time away. While Jacob recites verse's from the Holy bible the whole way. Richard and Justin continue to ignore Jacob and instead choose to bicker with each other about things that do not matter. When Justin and Richard get loud Jacob tends to yell the verse louder over them and Sean drinks even more of his home brew. The travelers stop in Greece and meet a local merchant who offers them housing pleasure and food when he mentions his name Raymond The Badactor , Richard says to the Crusaders they should be wary of this gent but Sean takes a liking to this man quickly, Justin show some interest and Jacob ignores him completely. Sean offers some of his home brew as it has become more widely more know at this point. In return Raymond gave them shelter and whores.

During the night Jacob wakes to hearing Jonny talking to his pony Pinkie Pie . Jacob watches him talk to Pinkie Pie for a while. Ohh Pinkie Pie I love you I wish it wasn't against all that is holy to lay with you or I would. Jacob sneaks away into the night, Richard makes love to his fiancé because he brought her with on this journey. In the morning the Crusaders are confronted by Raymond he tells them that they will be tested during this journey by various horrors that include faggotree and murder.

The Crusaders leave towards Turkey when they arrive to the borders they are jumped by a bunch of homosexuals named the turkey stuffers. Sean is too drunk to deal with this encounter and Richard feels as so just Jacob should deal with it. Jacob says a prayer to god an strike the homosexuals down with his blade. Declaring that god shall cleanse you of the sins you have committed towards mankind you faggot mother fuckas I cast your souls to hell bitch ass mother fuckin dick sucka! The turkey stuffers are all slaughtered, beheaded and drained of all they're blood. Jacob makes Jonny cut off their Dick n bawls Jonny fed them to Pinkie Pie. The crusaders then left Jacob was still covered in sinners blood he smiled the rest of there way through Turkey. As they ventured into Iran they stop for a rest at the inn the owner happened to be Raymond the Bad Actor. When approached Ray was asked how did you end up here before us? He smiled wickedly ohh I had a carriage take me nonstop day and night while I slept.

Sean and Ray continued they're talk while the others rested by drinking in the bar. Hey Jonny you should fight that man over there he's looking at you with a sinners eyes plus I think he wants ye pony Pinkie Pie said Richard .Jacob laughed with a big smile and said Ill leave you guys I need to wash the homosexuals blood off me. Richard egged Jonny on and Jonny fought the man turns out he was a sinner, he was into bestiality and really did want Pinkie Pie. Jonny was enraged he killed the man NOBODY MAKES LOVE TO PINKIE PIE BUT ME ARRRGGHHHH!

Richard gave Jon a drink and tells the lad to calm down. They pay some wenches to dance and as the night comes to an end Richard has a whore spend it with Jon. Sean and Ray sit at a table only light by candle light the bar is empty and Sean is half there Ray states he is the devil and plans to slow the Crusaders in every way possible Sean just nods and slams his face into the table then passes out. Jacob is first to rise the Holy Crusader wakes all for breakfast in the bar Sean wakes hangover spouting shit about the devil an how Ray is the devil. Jonny is still upset about Pinkie Pie being mentally defiled his bad attitude makes Justin upset so he chooses to yell at him like usual he solves everything with anger and yelling not choosing to acknowledge others in what they say just thinking what he says as fact. OHHH FUCK YOU JONNY YOUR PONY IS A BITCH AND GOD HATES YOU FOR IT. B-bb-bb-utt Justin that's not true! SHUT THE FUCK UP OOOOOWWWWAHHHHHH. Hey guys Justin is being a bitch what should I do just ignore him for a bit maybe he will calm his pussy lips down. ERRYwun laughs besides Justin who then pouts.

The crusaders then head back on the road and Jacob asks Sean what happened to Ray as we did not see him in the morning. Sean moans then falls asleep on his horse. The crusaders make it to a town where there is no religion and instead of bringing Christianity to the peoples they slaughter them all and shout ignorant things about god. THOU MUST ACCEPT GOD, SLAY THY SINNERS AND RAPE THY WIVES. Sir Jacob punched a old man about the age of 40 (remember that's old for this time) right in the jaw the old man cried out but I love god I may not be Christian but I believe in him. Shut up sinner and bludgeon him to death with his hands. The old mans daughter cried and laid there holding him Jonny wanted to prove his worth so he went up to her and grabbed her by the neck yelled in the poor young girls face she was about the age of 14. Jonny spat in her face while speaking claiming she was a whore and deserved death if she did not repent her ways surprisingly she understood English/Italian. The girl cried and ignored what Jonny said because of her father's death. Jonny was angered by that so he beat the girl Justin was still upset and was chucking people's heads of their shoulders with his new sharp edge blade. Justin seen Jonny and wanted to ruin his time by stealing his kill on the young girl but tripped on some intestines that he gutted from a 6 year old boy face first into the pile of crap an blood from all the bodies. Justin screamed for over 20 minutes as usual but everyone ignored him while he laid on the ground.

Jonny was crying about Pinkie Pie choking the girl Sean stopped him and told him the young woman couldn't even be held responsible for anything she is just 14. Richard yelled way to be a white Knight Sean you faggot. Jacob then said I killed her father I will marry this whore make her a proper women. Sean then grabbed her and said no she is mine. Jacob was frustrated but accepted that as so since Sean was a respected alcoholic of god.

The Crusaders left town after making love in the name of god to all the women that was left which were the age of 12 – 16 making sure to impregnate them. Jonny, Richard and Sean did not partake in this holy love making. As the Men of god made it into China finally Sean fell to the back of the group with his new wife. He whispered Softly into her ear I'm going to get it in baby girl hahahha, no seriously you don't need to be with me I was merely saving you I can let you go at some point in China or on the way back your choice the girl just nodded.

Meanwhile Ryan was preparing for his brothers in Hong Kong. Ryan had a whole building rented for them women readily available and food galore. Ryan was a well know white man in China he sold drug and spread religion throughout the land and he even was cured of his homosexual tendencies while in China. Hey you shouted out Ryan have you seen a white man besides myself in the area recently the little Chinese boy nodded he pointed the devils den which was called the pink blossom a Chinese whore house. Ryan scouted it out for days seen the ex-pope. He confirmed it was him by confronting him. The old man and him sat he was weary of the Crusader on why he was there. But Ryan explained that he was no longer a man of god was casted out for being a queer which the pope had no hard time believing. The pope and Ryan bullshitted for days while he waited on the crusaders arrival he kept a close look upon him even to begin working for the pope as part of his guard. The pope had and appetite for young pussy he fucked all day every day. Hell he was married to 3 of his whores young Chinese girls from the age 11-13. You know Ryan I feel as though we've become close friends and would like to know if you want to join in our ritual of the black sacrament tonight. Ryan knowing he must do this for god agrees even though he will be accepting Satan.

Jacob, Sean, Richard are all laughing to each other about how crazy awesome god is. Jacob was reading the bible out loud. Justin was so upset as usual and yelled at him in anger shouting fuck god what has he done for you huh? He's only brought pain suffering and anger for me what about you huh? Everyone is so shocked including Jonny. Jacob throws down his weapons and hops of his steed and says my bitch ass Sir I challenge you to Fisticuffs do you accept? Before he could answer Sean yells yeah fuck you….Bitch. Richard says how you dare speak of the holy one in that way he gave you life! Jonny grabs him by his cape and drags him off his horse and yells fuck him he does not deserve and honest duel off with this sinners head. He stomps his heel into his chest. Jacob claims every man deserves free speech but not against god but we shall let him defend himself to see if god wants him taken down.

In anger he's let up, so do you accept? No not with you, Jonny here wants something to prove apparently…I will fight him. Jonny and Justin strip naked for a good old oiled fist fight to the death like real men. Meanwhile Ryan is trying to keep the devil from taking his heart. In the basement of the Pink Blossom he undergoes the ritual. All the men including the pope lick his body then spank him the devil is a temptation for Ryan but he does not give in with god on his side. The pope then proceeds to kiss and slobber on him. The Ritual is done he is explained that he is now a full on brother of darkness! They go upstairs and bang the young girls Ryan however over compensates by getting 10 girls a whole bunch of Jack Dagnels. At the end of the Night he laid in bed and cried for hours, only one girl was left she laid there with him. Ryan why do you cry ? Well Ai I have been raped by the devil himself. (Ai is a young female that Ryan has had relations with for 4 months now and loves somewhat) Ahh well Ryan god has giving you the path to overcome this but only you can decide what it is. What do you mean Ai? There is perhaps a women put into your life or maybe a friend? You're right my brother Justin! Well no that's not what I meant but okay.

Ahhhhhh Jonny screams in agony Justin hammered his face with a double fist punch. As he went in for a second punch Jonny rolled through mud at Justin spit blood in his face then kicked him in the nuts. Sean yelled YEAH GET EM WHILE HES DOWN! Jonny mounted him and hit him over and over in the back of the head; Justin shit himself and then went limp. The Crusaders mounted up and left Justin for dead. Jonny rode the rest of the way naked covered in oil, blood and GODS JUSTICE. Ryan does not know what has become of his brother.

When my brother gets here I shall tell him of what you have said and what has happened after we serve the Justice of God. Ai roles over and falls asleep ignoring Ryan. When morning comes the Templars arrive Ryan greets them with the rooms women and food he asks where his brother is. Sean tells him listen buddy your brother had some thinking to do about the path of god and which road he should take. So he decided to not come on this trip brother. And I hope for the best on his part he was *cough* is a good man and hopefully will find God and make the right choice. Alright well every one rest up ill introduce you to Ex-Pope Alexander VI tomorrow. I have to go now to a meeting with him this is Ray he's the innkeeper for the for the Black Snow inn he can help you with anything around here.

Hey buddy how's it going? Very well, listen my old Templar buddies that served you well and loyal are here. They would like to serve you again as you are the true Pope, can they meet with you tomorrow? Sure, you're sure they're here to serve me right? Yes of course they were cast out when Randy Snope became Pope saying that they were just some false war tool established by you to be abused with the name of god behind them. Ahh is Sir Fisticuffs with them? Yes, ohh good! Why ? Well Jacob is very "deep" with god but to think the pope kicked him out he must be filled with God's anger and want Justice to be served on Randy Snope the Pope. Alright Ryan you are dismissed! Alex then talks to his Officers Raymond the Badactor and David Strongmuscles. This is good we have Fisticuffs right where we want him filled with anger and willing to get revenge on Randy Snope the Pope and I will return to power. Tomorrow we will fill their bellies their purse and their lust said David that will surely have them in our pocket. What are your thoughts Ray? Well this sounds good everything should go according to the plan *evil smirk*.

So Ray how do you tend to be everywhere and get there before us? Well Sir Fisticuffs I never stop traveling I'm nether her nor there just everywhere! The crusaders are confused by it but would rather drink then think about it. They sit eat and start to enjoy the women Sean does not as to be courteous to his fake wife he has taken on. She notices and starts to have conversation with him. As dinner passes the men gather for a meeting Sean tells his women of which he has yet to learn her name to go to his room and sleep. Jonny must leave as he too is not part of the circle yet.

Fisticuffs start the meeting with the oath of God "We are Men of God we do not Judge we do not forget or forgive we just Deliver". Sean yells I'll drink to that oi! Alright business men business First what the fuck is up with that man Ray? I mean I have a bad feeling about him. Yeah me to brother! How about you Sean? He's the devil I fucking told you already but he's also my friend cool guy really. Whatever you fucking drunken bastard. So Sean doesn't like em and nether do we Richard. Alright So this pope Shit what do we do? Listen to him then kill him or barge in and kill him. Well you know guys we should get him drunk off of some of my brew then beat him to death with sticks and have all the young women he defiled help too! Oohh Sean you always have the best plans, But we should do this in a godly manner you know? Fine do what you fucks want tell me later I'm going to drink and talk with my wife Dickcharred! Alright Jacob what are we doing? We're going to speak to him listen to what he has to say and then deliver gods justice.

Ray comes around to serve the men more Jack Dagnels . He is listening very closely to there conversation. And another thing what the fuck is up with Jonny having a pony and he named it fucking Pinkie Pie I don't fucking get it? Neither do I Fisticuffs well ask him about it after all this. From there on out the men just bitch and bicker so they head to bed. Morning Draws near and Richard lays there in bed waiting to deliver this lost soul to God. He realizes it's been 2 full years since they set out on this Journey. His fiancé is still with him yet they hadn't had the chance to marry. He decides that after this he will marry her and then settle down back home. He is only 20 and can still do many things so can his other brothers but they have never talked about it, Only serving God blindly since the age of 13. Why is he thinking of all this have the others ever thought this way? Something must be wrong maybe death? No he snaps out of it realizes could just be the thought of being married. Jacob And Richard are the only ones to show at breakfast.

Fuck those fucking bastards Jonny that fucking Scum! Sean's not in his room. Do we still go through with it? Of course Richard this is the day God has personally told me. The Crusaders show up at The Pink Blossom to their surprise Ryan was already there to greet them. Alex comes to the table greets them and asks what is the true reason for them being here? Stunned Jacob replies to serve justice, Jacob flips the table. Justin walks from the back room and says naw des mutha fuckas gon kill you. Ryan is fucking flabbergasted that his brother would betray god and fall to the Devil like this. Des mutha fuckas beat the shit out of me literally and left me for dead, Ryan fuck em! No there my brothers were all her on a mission from god and I could not betray god nor betray them. Then he shall die with them too! Fine fuck em faggot couldn't even suck a dick well anyways!

The Holy Crusaders are now fucked royally. Surrounded they cannot do anything Richard notices Ray above just watching. Wait! How the fuck did you get her Justin? Raymond that merchant he picked me up along the way saved my life he did. That motherfucker God damn it! RICHARD DON'T EVER SAY THE LORDS NAME IN VAIN EVEN NEAR DEATH. Ohh fuckoff with that shit right now Jacob that bitch Ray is right there I bet he told the faggots everything. What the fuck! Now now children of "God" I didn't say I word I simply let it all play out sure I may have moved pieces into the puzzle but never interfered with the "Sinners" plans nor yours hell….I never mentioned to that faggot Alex your true intentions once, ask him for yourself. Well did he? No that son of a bitch knew the whole time and didn't say a word what a queer bait. Let's move on shall we I have food to eat whores to fuck kill them let's get it over with. BBBBOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM! Holy fuck I just blew a giant hole in the wall, Motherfuckers let's do this ! Sean and his wife ride in on pony's Sean's wife cuts the head off of 15 men in less the 5 seconds what a badass Holy women Jacob is awe struck. Sean ropes the pope and Justin he rides off his woman follows Jonny is there with Pinkie Pie and 3 other ponies for them they hop on and follow. When they escape the city Richard's wife is waiting there with Sean. The Templars all serve Justice to the Ex Pope –"Only God can judge you and we shall deliver you to him" in sync they all stab him each once Then Jacob cuts his head off to deliver as proof. As for Justin they Let Ryan deal with him. Ryan tells the group to carry on and he will catch up. So the Holy men and Jonny ride off.

Jacobs asks how they got all the ponies and Richard adds also what's up with the name of your pony Jonny? What I named all my ponies your riding Rainbow Dash, Jacobs on Apple Jack Sean has spike Ryan has Fluttershy and Sean's wife has Twilight sparkle! Holy fuck man I know you saved us with these ponies and all but seriously what the fuck is wrong with you? Are you queer boy? NO I just love my ponies' okay they saved me from death in the desert you dick bags left me in AND THEY JUST SAVED YOU FAGGOTS. Well now that that's done I've gone into business with Jordan he's opening my first Brewery. No fucking way man that's cool. Ryan Finally caught up with the Group they don't ask what happened. Sean keeps on talking about his brewery and how it's going to be awesome and how people all over the known world already buy it and loves it thanks to Ray the merchant.

For the next 2 years the Crusaders listen to Sean blab all day about shit they don't care about and how he is always drunk but saves the day and NO ONE FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGES IT yet even when he mentions it they ignore it. They have never even given him a fucking thank you. Sean still does it for many reasons, perhaps he is so drunk he's never realized it or he just likes knowing that they fucking owe him always WHO FUCKING KNOWS. Jonny cry's often asking when he can become a Man of God they also ignore that. The Templars ride off into the Sunset and you can still hear Sean's drunken blabbering and Jonny's fucking Crying oh the crying it never ends and his gay pony collection oh fuck, Thank god Sean blabbers over him.

#2Crusadez


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